I love my cat, and I'm not afraid to let the Internet know it. But damn, he is a weird little f***er. Sometimes I am truly worried by the things he eats, or rather, the things he desperately desires to eat but I won't let him.
When Hubs and I first got him, a tiny little orange ball of fury that my mother referred to as "devil cat", he had an almost addict-like love of coffee. He would do almost anything to get ahold of coffee in any form- brewed, ground, bean- you name it, he was willing to kill for it. He'd knock over garbage cans, risk scalding, stick his little head comically far into the used French press, anything to get a taste. We theorized that he had been a dumpster diver before he'd joined us, and that he retained a taste for the upper effects of coffee.
Over the years, he has exhibited countless other odd food tastes, including veggie pepperoni, dog food, tape and adhesive of any kind, and tub water. Yes, tub water. As in bathtub. It's a rare bath (or shower) I take that does not include him perched delicately on the edge of the tub, eagerly awaiting the safest moment to slurp it up. Weirdo.
But all his previous oddities are trumped by the yen he had today. Brushing my teeth after my shower, I glanced over at the tub, expecting to see him lapping at the drain as per usual. Instead, he was...wait for it...licking the bar of soap. And not tiny tasting licks. He was really going to town on it, deep, gulping, extremely un-cat-like licks. My loud reprimand did nothing to stop him. I had to physically remove the cat from the Dial.
So now, here I sit, writing about my cat, because I'm cool like that. And said cat lays beside me, but I've made sure there is a blanket under both of us. Because my couch is white, and I'm fairly positive it's just a matter of time before my cat has a soap related accident bubbling out of one or more end. At least it will be easy to clean, right?